Trying it

There is no disputing the fact that children feed off your emotions. When you escalate they do too. So today I have decided I will try a different tack. Today I am going to try my hardest not to yell.

I know, I know, after yesterday where I practically ended up yelling all day, it's a feat, but I am going to try and see if I can at least keep my cool.

I have sat the two older ones down and explained that by tormenting their littler sibling until they cry or scream, does not help me be a nice mummy, I can't stand the screaming, it is like 1,000 knives going through my brain. When they do that it just adds to my stress levels and significantly reduces my ability to keep my cool. I wasn't sure whether they had got it or not but apparently they did.

This morning Maya was slapping Lockie on the head repeatedly. Amazingly he did not give her a thermonuclear attack, he calmly sat there, called for me and did not respond. I then had to hold my anger in check, I mean seriously, in what universe would any sane person think it was a good idea to hit another person in the head for fun?  Why on earth would you do that, and to the most volatile person in the house?

Inner dialogue: " you nasty little minx, you are doing this just to get a reaction out of him, it would serve you right if he knocked you right on your butt at the moment"
External dialogue : "Maya stop hitting Lockie on the head right now, immediately! Right get off the lounge. Apologise to Lachlan. Now go to your room for 5 minutes, you can not come out until the buzzer goes off. No I will not discuss it with you. Go to your room and do not come out for 5 minutes. Now Maya"
"Lachlan, I am SO proud of you for not responding, that must have been very hard to do and I am really proud of you for behaving in such a mature way! "

Maya starts screeching and pounding on the door.

Internal dialogue "oh FFS just shut up and suck it up, you were a mean little cow"
External dialogue " Maya you need to stop that, I will not respond to you when you are screaming at me. If you continue to bang on the door and yell I will add 5 minutes to your time"

Chaos subsides and I didn't yell well not on the outside anyway.

So lets see how an externally calm mumma affects their behaviour.